Fraternity/Sorority. What Have You Done For Me Lately?
Good Thursday Morning. Here is a question that Leah Lee has and wants our opinion. Let’s help her. Holla back!
My son is in his last year at IUPUI. He’s a single non-custodial parent working fulltime and attending classes 5 days a week. He recently withdrew an interest in pledging to a fraternity because there just was not enough time to accommodate. I originally supported his interests and silently prayed that he wouldn’t like it. Rush activities frightened me but I never let on. He stays on the Dean’s List and desires to follow up with a Master’s program. He lives on his own and seems to manage his life well. Is he really missing out not pledging? I was very relieved he didn’t but what are the goals and activities of these organizations?
I’m not really qualified to answer this question, but my only experience was when I was going to go to I.U., I went there for a weekend of orientation. I met some of the professors and everything else was about the social/party scene of the sororities and fraternities. It was very much like you see on the movies where everyone is dancing, drinking and trying to hook up. It’s very alluring and somewhat overwhelming for someone as myself that was green to my toes to that lifestyle at that point in my life. The temptation was so strong, and the little indulgence I did do that weekend allowed me to see that I probably would be living that life on a regular basis. So, I opted not to go. Now, as an adult, the only thing I know is the brotherhood/sisterhood aspect they have no matter where you are or when you joined them. Since it’s national, you can connect with them wherever you go. I’ve seen the stong support they provide at weddings and funerals, but other than that, I think their day to day dealings are supposed to be known only to those that are members. Somewhat like the Masons. But that’s a whole notha story.
Leah, as Monique just stated I have no background or experience with sororities. I too went to IUPUI and, at that time, we didn’t have many living on campus thus the opportunity to pledge was limited. I guess I was what you call GDI – a phrase I will not interpret – you can read between the lines. None of my friends pledged, they too were Independent. I knew I wasn’t going to be blind-folded and told to do things in the dark. Nope! That wasn’t for me. Now I have heard that being in a fraternity or sorority has paid off later in life for some. IE – helped them get a job. But this is not an overwhelming thing as far as I know. I don’t know anybody personally this has worked for.
I hope someone will come on and comment with more insight and knowledge to help.
I pledged as a Little Sister to a fraternity. That experience was enough to let me know that I would never join a sorority, but I had a close friend that joined the Aka’s. I doubt that she would ever say anything negative about the experience but I saw that it was very expensive for her to pledge, and even more so after the pledging was over(trying to keep up with the yearly dues). However;she did seem to be more popular with men after she pledged(her self-esteem increased some),but it didnt help her attract a life mate. In my personal opinion pledging gives you a family;people you should be able to trust and depend on thru thick and thin. It also increases your social life(party!). The many times that you are asked to help can be tiring and of no personal gain,except it is an opportunity to come together and you can take pride in knowing the you assisted with the completion of… hopefully something which benefitted a community. I have a male friend who just pledged at age 39(not honary;actually pledged). Whats up with that? You have a wife and kids,cant you find a better way to spend your time and money? So to the mother that is glad her son did not pledge, it seems its never too late if theres a burning desire.
Miriam Lewis’s last blog post..1/2 black + 1/2 white = Barack Obama…right??? Written by Bishop John Fonzer
Just a thought, you have just described a very inteligent, wise young man. That is what life is all about, making decision asfter you grow up. We know that Chad is before his time and he will do the right thing.. He gave you the love of your life. (Christmas Card Picture)
Leah,
I think that as long as things are going well for your son with his educational pursuits, he should put pleding on the back burner for now.
I have never really agreed with pledging because in my opinion a person is paying money to have friends. I went to IU for years and am very good friends with many sorority women. It was just not the right choice for me personally. I have never been a person who HAD to have friends, so refused to pay money to join a “club” The networking side of it is kind of nice but there are many other networking resources that are free and dont take you through stressful and physical tasks. I just have never agreed and I may be looking at it too simply, but thats just my opinion.