What’s Love Got To Do With It?
I am too old to become disillusioned with life, but I think I have, or at least with some parts of life.
I like it that I have a song in my spirit almost every morning. I have songs in my spirit so often that at one point, whatever song I woke up with on my mind; I would jot it down on the calendar. It’s was amazing to see how often the song of the day would minister to whatever was happening in my life at the time. 99.9% of the time, they were/are gospel songs with a message or something uplifting to my spirit. Yesterday, the only song that played and played in my head all day is “What’s Love Got To Do With It”. Then today on my way to work I had on the Steve Harvey show and they were playing an old, old school song, “It’s All About Love”. Not another love song coming at me! This is not what I intended to write today but I knew I had to write about this and ask you; is it all about love, what’s love got to do with it and does love really conquer all?
I have always told my girlfriend, there are just some things love will not let you do and there are some lines love will not let you cross. Here is my take on that, seeing that I have been a recipient of having the unacceptable and unspeakable done to me and I have been on the other side of that line when it was crossed; either the person/s doesn’t love me or love really has nothing to do with our actions. And I am not perfect. I have done my share of unlovable things, I’m just saying…
I grew up in church and know what the word says about love but there are times when life seems to contradict itself and the word doesn’t seem to properly fit situations. I always wait on God’s revelation because I know He is going to either lay it all out for my understanding or give me a nod to let me know, He’s got this one and there is no need for me to know why or what He is doing. Gosh, it’s all too much at times!
So here is my question today: once your boss, or your child, or your significant other, or your best friend, or your neighbor does something that cannot be triggered by love and the pains hurts you at the base of the lowest point of your soul, is there any coming back from that and could they have possibly loved you to do such a thing? You tell me because I don’t know! And one more thing, when you know they are doing it just to hurt you/for revenge, and they know you are a Christian and them saying I’m sorry is what they do best, is there a Christian/human alive that can just say thank you, I accept your apology and move on???
I really want your input on this one. If you love me, holla back.
Ok I’m going to start this Post by saying that love is not suppose to hurt, they say that you always hurt the ones you love but honestly I think that is a load of crap!!!! For those that hurt and then come back and say I’m sorry in my opinion they are just a sorry excuse for a human being. People no exactly what they are doing whether drunk or sober they know. I believe that a drunken person speaks a sober mind and those that don’t drink and are still evil hurt those because they can. They are use to getting away with whatever and no one calling them on it and if they are called on it they say I’m sorry and really don’t mean it!!!
They say that life is to short to go through the drama yet each and every day we allow ourselves to take the beat down of someone else because of their insecurities do and take us places that we know God up above would never do to us.
The question of the day is Why?
Why is it that no matter what, we feel like we have to take what is dished out? This applies to men and women because there are so many of us that take and take what another has dished out without thinking about self first.I know that God allows things to happen for a reason and that everything happens for a reason. Perhaps he trying to tell us that mother or father, best friend, that boss, that child, that significant other, that husband or wife, or that neighbor is only suppose to be in your life for a season and now it’s time to let that person go and move on. Harsh words I know but again love is not suppose to hurt and if someone really loves you they would not continue to hurt you. Hurt me once shame on you, hurt me twice shame on me for allowing it to continue.
It’s time to get tough and that is my new Motto!!! If that person is not treating you right move them out of the way.. It’s going to hurt for awhile but you’ll get past it because God has got your back and he will see you though.. That’s a promise… Shame on those who think that they really have a hold on you.. Karma is so wicked these days and although I don’t wish bad on anyone, trust that what goes around will come back around and those that have hurt someone and killed their spirit will pay the ultimate price..
So back to the question, What’s love got to do with it?
Love is gently, love is kind, love helps you through the rough days and it never make you cry.. God is love, and that’s all we need to make our days flow with ease. So the next time someone calls you out your name, or makes you feel like you are not worth enough, look at them and smile, because you know deep in your heart that no matter what God loves you and he will make everything just fine.. Tori
I agree that love is not supposed to hurt you physically, but it sure does emotionally. If you’ve ever been wronged by the person you love it dashes your belief in true love. This, of course, does not refer to the never ending perfect love of God, but as humans we experience real deep abiding pain when love goes bad. An apology without change is just words. Then you still have to deal with the mental after affects. I also agree with Tori’s statement that a drunken person speaks a sober mind. If they’re in that state and spilling their guts, it’s an opportune time for you to find out how they really feel about anything else you’ve ever wondered about. You can also find out if they’re really out of it or not by asking something really deep and see how much resistance they put up to your question.
Anyway, in answer to your question, I believe that love has absolutely nothing to do with it if you’re on the receiving end of physical abuse. If they hit you, they don’t respect you or the love you supposedly have for each other enough to take control over their emotions and keep their hands off you. Love has everything to do with it if you’re in a relationship that recognizes that things are not always going to be perfect, but we love each other enough to work our differences out by talking and not taking it to a physical level.
It’s a really hard question to respond to because truthfully, it’s never really as cut and dry as what I previously stated. Love is so tricky and matters of the heart are so sensitive. Fortunately, I’ve never been in a physically abusive relationship, but I know people that have been abused and are abusers. Abusers need help but usually don’t see it that way so they keep doing it. And many times, the abused wrongly think that their love for that person is strong enough to make the abuse stop. Or church folks think they have to stay and wait on the Lord to fix it. So, do you stay and see them through it or do you leave for your own safety and try to get them help from afar? It’s the individual’s decision to make.
Tori I loved the sermon, you don’t get an offering but it was still a sermon. I feel the same way, when someone hurts you, they know it and they don’t care, they are only thinking about themselves. Some people get so use to saying “I’m sorry” that after a while it does not mean a thing to you. Do you stay because you love them or do you stay because you have gotten use to them or you don’t want to be by yourself. But you know what they say about the later one, You can do bad all by your self. I am a true witness, I done better by myself, have more money, did more activities, got more sleep at night, nerves were calm, no one ate the special things I put back in the frig for later. When I went to Church I could concentrate on the message more instead of thinking about what had been done to me. The only part you left out Tori is that when two people are together, they becone one and the other person should not want to see you hurt because it would be like hurting themselves. If we are not talking about a spouse, remember the commandment that says Love they neighbor a thyself. If you don’t wamt to hurt then why would your sister , mother ,father or brother or friend want to hurt either. I like the part about being called out of your name. You see the scripture says we are beautifully and wonderfully made. That means ME.
delores goodson’s last blog post..Best Places For Breakfast
As I read the comments I can’t help but think about this season we are celebrating.God gave His son. The Son gave his life in one of the most miserable ways to die. On a cross.Yet some say love is not suppose to hurt. I’ve found it to not only hurt but sometimes be plain uncomfortable.It’s a demand on one’s life from the heart.Whether you’re a spouse,sibling,parent or child of God real love gets thrown into a serious verb. Then in some cases, after I’ve given my word-what does love have to do with it?-I’m a woman of my word and it’s my personal duty to keep it. Love catches me by surprise even at this stage in my life. It keeps me on my toes. New loved ones and very old loved ones. I consider myself blessed that I can still be moved by it’s passion.
Leah, thank you for that. Another viewpoint and a real thought provoking way to make us remember, love isn’t always about popcorn and pink shoelaces!
Leah,
That was on point and it is exactly what I thought. Love does hurt and badly sometimes. Surely the God of Gods did not want to see his Son die on the Cross the way he did…. But it was the greater purpose that God & Jesus allowed and endured this, his greater love was us, to see us have what we really do not deserve sometimes. So is the same with all of us.
What is our Greater purpose on our Jobs? You are there because He (God) placed you there. So don’t be surpised when things happen, chicken head peers trip & and the Lonely Boss flips, be about your fathers business without getting too deep and spiritual.
What is our Greater purpose between Marriage? This is your first Ministry, seek out the strengths and the weaknessess and continually and Consistantly call out to the Father on all situations involving the one you said I do to. If not you will want to Bash his head in like ya girl said on Color Purple (In your mind of course). And when you really want to just vent and not be judged talk to a spirit filled, praying, tithe paying, real woman of God who will not tell your business……
Love has many facets and hurt is one of them in my book.
Love is a CHOICE. I believe love is both an action and a noun. Love is long suffering. Love is respect, compassion, kind, caring, enduring, both honest and dishonest depending on the situation. Love hurts but it also mends. Love will force you to make amends with those you’ve wronged or hurt. Love is sacrifice. Love is like a light switch with a dimmer. We can turn it up slowly, quickly and on full brightness or we can dim it down nice and slow as well as turn it all the way out to darkness. It is all a choice who we choose to love and how much we love them. This includes our relationship with God. Ask yourself, do I love God unconditionally? Do I give God my all in love? Am I in love with God or do I have love for God? Love has everything to do with all aspects of our life. Love is internal and eternal. Love comes from within. I believe we are born into sin with love built in. Check your love vibe. I strongly believe that the type of energy you radiate from your heart is the same type of energy you will receive from outside sources. If we give more love than we receive, than eventually we will receive more love than we give.
Nice but you got me on love being dishonest.
@Kathy – Honestly, have you ever lied for a love one to keep them out of trouble or to protect them? Or would you tell the truth and watch them suffer? In rare situations, operating within love, we will protect in traumatic and dramatic circumstances. Love is adaptable and transformational.
ok… I hear ya but…
I agree with everyone. Love is something else. It will make you act crazy at the wrong times, and be hushed mouth when you need to go crazy! Love is beautiful too. Love is hard as well. But love in PEOPLE is sometimes replaceable. Sometimes people are in a relationship and you think to yourself, I will never find some one who loves me like he/she does. Even if the other 80% of the ralationship is jacked up. But then that same person takes a stand for themselves and starts loving THEMSELVES before any one else (except God) and finds their next relationship unreal! Because not only does he/she love you more than the last mate, but now they have introduced you to feelings, actions, and different types of love that you could have never imagined. Love has to have respect in it. You cannot love some one and not respect them. Even if you dont always agree, there is still respect between love. If a person does things that show no regard to their mates feelings and keeps hurting them again and again sometimes its best to move on, and find the one that will do anything to make sure no one disrespects you. Its like the movie, why did i get married. The 80/20 rule. Sometimes love is just love. An emotion that can be transferred. Why be in a relationship you feel love 20% of the time and the other 80% is going to hell??!!? Why not be in a relationship that is 100%. If not 100 at least let the 80% be the good part and the 20 be the bad part? It should never get to the point where you love some one so much, you no longer love yourself or care about what happens to you. Yes, when you find that true, undeniable love it is amazing. But sometimes its just an emotion that can be picked up and moved on to some one who deserves it. Because it is so precious. And we should only give, and stay giving something so precious to someone that is giving the same back. Because if not you will just end up with yourself. No love, not even self love because you have given it all out and recieved none in return.
@Kourtney – Wow! Now my very own daughter is trying to get a love offering! There will be no love offerings given on kleverkathy.com. However, I am about to have a contest with a monetary prize! Stay tuned!
I really didn’t want my comment about love being both honest and dishonest to be the main focus. Love being a choice is the main point I was displaying. Love is deep rooted. The love that we exhibit, give, show, share and receive is all deeply rooted in how we were raised. How it was taught to us by examples of love ones around us within our environments and families. We respond to love on many different levels depending on our backgrounds and experiences. If you were molested by a family member at an early age than in a relationship your love could be guarded or limited due to sexual or trust issues. If you were raised in an abusive home, physical, mental, verbal or emotional than your love that you give or receive could be extremely hindered due to Post Traumatic Stress or even fear of being hurt. So this is why I believe Love is a choice. We have the potential to love unconditionally as well as conditionally. Thank God He loves us unconditionally. Only God has the grace and mercy sufficient enough to Love us on a straight path. His love never fails, never goes up and down because He is love. Some people have problems with love in relationships due to the lack of expected love that they received from parents. Every child is not raised in a loving home with two parents. Some children are raised without both parents in the home. Their love can be turned off in a blink of an eye as a survival mechanism. That’s why some people can end a relationship without remorse and others have attachment issues and can’t let go. God gives all of us the power to love unconditionally and to break the generational sin of operating out of conditional love.
@Ronad Deane – You wanna write a post some time? Better yet, you want to add some design this site? We’ll talk offline later
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I know you didn’t want to focus on honesty and dishonesty but your comment, coupled with actual events surrounding me, compelled me to revisit the topic of truth telling vs. lying. I encourage your comments Ronnie Deane; I know they are going to be, at the least challenging.
Go to today’s post and re-comment on that topic. Love to hear what you have to say!
Thanks kathy. How do I go back to today’s post? @Kathy -
@Ronad Deane – just click on klever kathy at the very top of the page and it will bring you to the latest post.
Thanks Klever Kathy you are soooo Klever