There Is Nothing Like A Mom!
This is our first “series” week. Let’s start out with something close to home, Family. This is Family week. Let’s talk.
The first thing that comes to my mind when I say family is my mother. As many of you know, she is gone. 10 years, 7 months and 22 days. (sigh) It still hurts and I can still give you detail by detail and blow by blow of the events surrounding her passing and how everything unfolded. Well… as I sit here and think, I guess some of it has faded away but it is still pretty fresh in my mind. Just the other day I told my girlfriend, if my mother was here, blah blah blah. I can concretely say, you never stop wanting or needing your mom!
Are you like me, when you think of family is your mother usually the first thing that comes to your mind? Don’t get me wrong, I take nothing away from fathers, or brother, or sisters, or kids or Aunts and Uncles. We all have our place within the structure, but for some reason (actually I know it is God’s plan) the mother/matriarch is the one who, at least emotionally, bring the family together and hold them together.
As we start this week long discussion about family, let me say how sorry I am that the original “family unit” that God intended has taken on a whole new look! I am not saying that completely negatively, because good can still triumph in the abnormal or diverse family makeup. I just say it because in some cases, it is sad to see the consequences and repercussions that arise from veering from God’s plan within the family unit. To clarify, when I say the family unit that God intended, I am speaking about: a man and woman meeting, getting married, having children together, just the two of them (and not with anybody other than that one spouse) and staying married until one of them dies. Rarely, is life that simple anymore. We deal with baby mamma drama, combined families, stepmothers, stepfathers and step brothers and sisters. But at the end of the day, it is all still family!
But it all starts with mom. As mother’s day swiftly approaches, it is a time when I am always reflective on my mother and myself as a mother. I strive to do my best but don’t we all question if our best is good enough? You never know if what you are doing is: helping or hurting, teaching or creating resentments, overprotecting or underprotecting, being too hard or being too lenient, displaying a good role model or being an embarrassment, giving too much or giving too little. You just never know. All any of us can ever do is our best!
I don’t know about other mothers but I absolutely love/d being a mom; the good, bad and ugly! I remember sitting and picking at Kourtney for hours; just holding her when she was sleep or awake, staring at her, combing her hair relentlessly and matching rubber band and hair bows to her clothes. If she got dirty I changed her clothes. If the rubber bands and hair bows didn’t match the new outfit, I redid her hair! Wow. (Kourtney if you read this, I’m sorry about that!) And poor Kendall. I was so happy to have a little boy! He got treated like a girl although I prayed for an all masculine little fella. One thing I look back on and say, oh that was no big deal was my determination to have him represent when he went to church and not wear tennis shoes! He always had on dress shoes and only twice in those pre adult years did he wear tennis shoes to church. One time was when his dress shoes were too little and I hadn’t made it to Neff and Nusbaum/Esmonds by Sunday. The other time was when we went to visit my aunt in Columbus and forgot them. Yikes! But he didn’t die and he was no worse for the wear. If I had it to do over, I still prefer the dress shoes but guess what? I have taken my grandson to church in tennis shoes! He gets the break Kendall didn’t! lol.
Now about my mother, let me just say, she was all that! Martha Ann Sawyer had the “it factor” and made an impact wherever she went. Still today people that knew her tear up when they talk to me about her. That’s saying a lot 10 years, 7 months and 22 days later. Really and truly, I can’t find another woman in the world like her! Her style and class are undeniable by anyone that knew her. She was the epitome of a classic and classy “First Lady”. I’ve seen many try to emulate her graceful style, but no one comes close! Her First Lady status remains intact! She didn’t overdo it (as so many do) yet she wasn’t understated either. She donned the perfect church hat and the perfect church suit/dress. I’ve tried and I can’t even match her timeless elegance. She owned it and she was my mom. Hmmmm….let me move on.
Tell me about you mother and your own experiences as a mother. Fathers please jump in too! Your day comes very shortly after ours and we want to honor you and your contribution to the family as well. We couldn’t do it without you!
As we begin Family Week, holla back!
I love my mom. She is one of the most intelligent women I know. She inspires me to succeed by setting examples. When my mother puts her mind to something she usually completes it. She has several degrees in Social Work where she worked at Head Start, and she’s currently a nurse at Pinehurst. She was chosen to represent Wayne County after Katrina hit New Orleans, LA by FEMA. She served 2 weeks in the most awful conditions to help doctors and hurricane victims. I am so proud of her. She was featured in the Pal-Item when she returned on the front page for two consecutive days. Her stories were amazing. She shared with me that she met two brothers and their mother. They had to wade and walk through miles of dark, murky, bacteria infested, oil and gas mixed, contaminated salt water for days just to get to a dry place. When they reached the facility where my mother was working she noticed the brothers’ legs where severely infected around their cuts and wounds. They had received sores and cuts from jagged metal and objects in the flood water. They held and carried their mother above water all that time to keep her from getting wet and sick. Their mother had a fear of water. The two sons’ legs were so severely damaged that one of them died and the other had to have his legs amputated. She was in tears when she was explaining this to me. I said, mom you have to tell this story, so I called Pal-Item and they sent a reporter to her house right away. She is truly a wonderful person. She has a heart as big as the world and will help anyone. We have not always had the best, storybook relationship but as I have grown into a man I have realized the trials and tribulations that we all face. I understand why our relationship was built the way it is today. I thank God for the way I was raised it has made me who I am today. My grandmother and grandfather helped raise me, they are no longer here. The Holy Spirit within my grandmother was the glue that held our family together. I have prayed for all of my family members to come back to Christ. Praise God that all of my family are in church with the exception of my mother but she is looking for a church home now. I know without a doubt that she loves the Lord and He is in her heart and mind. She has preached a few sermons in her kitchen, lol. My mother also has spent countless hours on our family picture wall. She has made a picture collage of everyone in our family and friends too. Every time we have a family get together we all visit the picture wall and laugh for hours. Just recently, this past weekend I took my mother out on a date. I took her out to eat at a Chinese restaurant and then to the movies to see “The Knowing” with Nicholas Cage. We stayed up and talked and spent some quality time together. When we pray we should pray with faith and believe that God can handle whatever we go through. Never doubt Him, just let go and let God and know that He has already made a way. Thank Him in advance and believe that He has the solution to your circumstance before you realize you have a situation. Thank you Jesus!!!
I love the part about you taking her on a date! I love that! There is nothing like a mom is there Ronnie Deane? Thank you for sharing that beautiful synopsis of her trip to help the Katrina victims and for the small random sermon at the end. I love how you always give God His props! Are you going for a love offering???
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LOL Yes Pass Da Plate!!!
I see that motherly (is that a word) spirit every day with my wife. I sit by ptiently waiting for my daughter to become “daddy’s little girl” but I know there relationship is special.
Kourtney, sorry for putting you in the closet!
My mom loved her children! We gave her genuine hell and drama but we loved her too. She was quick tempered and always had an opinion. I invite you all to visit (where I go) when I just need to see her face.
http://www.findagrave.com PATRICIA ANN MILTON b.1931 d.1991 As for me, I really like being a mother.I should have had aleast 3-5 children. I really try to stay really close to God because, Leah without Jesus, would be like KIMORA LEE SIMMONS!!! I’d probably try to assume her fabulousity attitude- the more babies,the better….if their dads wanted to stay, fine and fine if they don’t…Quietly, I enjoy the kids more than I do their dads….and that’s awful, I know. Bathing, and dressing them-Meeting their teachers and school shopping-I shared my feelings about all that once with my mom…she said to always think of the child first and give them the benefit of having both parents….she was wise. Now, that I’m a grandmother, it’s even better! It came so unexpectedly for me! That’s a promotion from God that I certainly do enjoy.I try daily to pray for my son and granddaughter and for their future and for their safety.
When I think of Mom… Freddie and Marvin’s songs come to me swiftly…..”There is none like you, no one else can touch my heart like you do, I could search for all eternity long and find, there is none like you.” As far as MOTHERS go, that’s what I know to be the truth. There will NEVER be another like Martha Ann Goodson Sawyer!!! Her greatness is in a category all by itself. I miss her and think about her daily (especially since I keep a pic of her on my bedside table RIGHT beside me and look at it ALL THE TIME!!!!). I only hope I can be a tidbit of the mother she was and that would speaks volumes. I was just telling someone yesterday how spolied I was and when I left for college at 18 and 1/2 that I hadn’t been doing my laundry and how it was shocking to have to do it!!!! The list is quite long of the ways I was spoiled but there are so many things she taught me that I still do today (ie.. try not to leae my house daily without having my bed made) that they outweigh being spoiled. Her discipline/abuse of us in church quickly comes to mind also and you just have to look back and laugh now..although it wasn’t a bit funny back then. I’m so glad that the Lord decided to drop the 2 angels down on me named Karlissa and Kelsey. I have joy everytime (well, most every : )…) I talk about them and their successes now. I too was a fussy mother, church meant a slip, ruffle dress, ruffled socks to match, ruffled hairbows and barrettes, and ALWAYS dress shoes (Kathy we’re alike on that) they wore shoes or booties and not just socks from their first time out of the house to ALWAYS!!! Kathy how did you remember about those 2 times Kendall didn’t have on church shoes? WOW. Anyway, Mom was the best and I hope I can be just a tad bit like her and I’ll feel accomplished. God bless all the Mothers…Boo has said there has got to be a crown in heaven for parents!!!! AMEN!!!!!
I thank God for all of the Mother’s in our lives. Since we grew up being raised by 6 women we were instilled with a special set of examples that just are not there for the young ladies of today. Now we’re down to 3 and it’s very, very tough just thinking about it. Especially since my own mother’s health very recently took a turn towards the reality of our mortality. She’s physically well, but she’s lost her fire and a lot of her strong will. Idleness is her enemey, so I’ve been making weekend trips to see her almost every weekend for the past two months. I’ll be back this weekend too. I do what I can which includes prayer and declaring the word of God over her life concerning her healing.
Being a mother of two boys is a blessing. There are a lot of mischievous things I see in them that I recognize from my childhood with my own brothers. The responsibility we have as mothers to take care of them and cover them in prayer each day is what will take them through their entire lives, not just until they leave our homes. That truth is exemplified through everyone that talks about the prayers of their mothers and grandmothers that has kept and shaped them throughout their entire lives. It’s a great responsibility, but it has even greater rewards.
P.S. I will do my best to respond to the blogs in a timely manner. Things have recently changed a lot at work and I don’t have the time to respond like I used to. Thank God I still have a job!
@Monique Davis – It’s all good! Your job is your first priority. You have been strategically placed among the blessed and favored that still have jobs! Thank God we know: The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much!
Talk to us when you can! You will go down in history as my most loyal and avid supporter! When my book is published (pray church!) I promise, I will break you off a little something for being with me from day one on this! Thank you. Congratulations on keeping your job!
I love how you talked about the women that raised us. I think it was 7 we can’t forget Grammie!! I too am sad about the fact that I just have 3 Auntie’s left and I want you to know I think it’s great that you are going to see about your mother. Trust and believe it’s much better now to do any and everything you can to see her and be with her because once your mother is gone, life as you know it ceases to be the same….THERE IS NOTHING LIKE A MOTHER, ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU HAVE A GOOD ONE!!!!! Cherish her!
Well here goes. I am one of those 7 women. I never had any children of my own but you all were my babies. As far a mothers go there will never be another one like my mother or your grandmother. She was one of a kind. She may not go down in history for anthing special or have her name in lights but she was great!!!! She will be remembered by a lot of people. She made all of us feel like we were special. She was spoiled rotten. And Kathy that hurt never goes away. We have lost our very best friend. It has been 14 years now and in some ways it feels like it was just yesterday. There are times things come to my mind and I think, I will call Mom and ask her but then I can’t. Ther are still day When I think about her and Martha Ann I still cry until I have nothing left in me. To this day I stll have Martha Ann days. If you think you were hard on Kendall She made up the difference. She raised all of you kids on the same furniture She even let Kendall walk across the back of her couch, with his shoes on, and when she got new stuff, the old stuff still looked good. Just outdated. I have Martha Ann days when I go work with everything of hers that I can get on. I may have on 3 or 4 pins a hankie or what ever I can find of hers. Murray Satterfield remember those Church days with her and that comb she carried. He said she would get it out and Pop you if she caught you acting up, but he loved it. Leah I remember you mother also. When she came to see her mother, Big Momma, we would sse her. She was carrying you at the time and she would come to our house to get her supply of ashes she ate while she carried you. She was jsut like Martha Ann, If you don’t know what being a lady is like, all you had to do was look at either one of those ladies. It came so natural for both of them. I have lost a mother and 3 sisters but none of them touched me like the lost of Martha Ann. That does not mean I did not love the others because I did,but she was special. No matter how long we live, all of you will still be my babies. You may have grandchildren of your own but like I have had to tell Kathy many times, remember there is just as many year between our age now as there was when you were little kids and I am still the oldest. I am blessed to have 2 sister left and they mean a lot to me. We three Aunts are still kicking. Love you all Aunt Dee. I thnak all of you for your prayer through out my illness and your phone calls. It feels like I am back on track. Nothing but the goodness of the Lord. GOD IS NOT THROUGH BLESSING ME. I WHICH I COULD HEAR YOU SING IT TO ME ONE MORE TIME kATH.
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umh, umh, Aunt Dee, she still ate ashes after Tim and I both got here!
thanks for that memory!! Reflecting on some of the women my MOM loved and those that shaped her character, I must mention Sis. Sawyer. Kat, your paternal grandma. My mom LOVED her!!She took time and conversation with her on many ocassions. I have a picture of Sis. Sawyer, my mom and Sis.Davis(Debbie & Lisa’s mom).They were young women and Sis.Sawyer looked happy to be standing between them. Down thru the yrs she would quote, “as Sis. Sawyer would say, this or that”.She was just one of her favorite people.
Wow. That is nice to hear. My memories of Grandma (Sawyer) were few. Shortly after I came to the realization of a Grandma, she got what we have come to know as Alzheimer. We never really had the relationship like I did with Grammie or Kaiden has with me! Sidebar: Leah you have got to meet Master Kaiden J. Sawyer one day! Grandmother loves him! He sings the alphabet song like no other. He should get a prize for singing so hard and making up so many words!
I need to write an entire article on the love of a Grandchild. It is overwhelming at times!
First off, let me start by saying that my mother was a woman of many flaws. Sylvia Palmore would have never been up for any Mother of the Year awards. She smoked, drank, and cursed, but she also loved, nurtured, and and showed compassion. She was so beautiful, but hated the spot light that her looks brought her. I can’t recall ever seeing my mother outside without sunglasses on! When I was little going to the store was hard, men would say things that were way out of line. And just as quickly as their rude comments came out, she would be sending her own, four or five letter tribute back. After all that, she would look at me and say “Don’t you ever in your life talk to a woman like that!!!”One of her main lessons was how to treat a lady, no matter what her circumstances are, she’s still a lady. Imagine being four years old and your mother telling you, almost beating you ” You are not gonna go around making babies with a bunch of different girls!!!” It was like she was punishing you before you even did it! Looking back and knowing how things turned out, she was giving us an accelerated course in life. It’s almost like she knew she was going to have a limited time with us. I could go on for years talking about my mom and the impact that she had on my life…but for now, I’ll I just say this, my mother raised one fine young man!!!
Yes she did Barry! And I’m glad she gave you what so many mothers don’t give their sons, integrity and one of the greatest lessons, how to be a man! Many males think making babies is what being a man is all about or seeing how many women’s heads you can turn and notch on the bedpost! I am always happy and delighted to see men who can woo a woman, sweep her off her feet, take care of her, be true to her, cherish her, adore her and maintain a relationship through all the ups and downs. They are hard to find in our disposal society today. I am glad you are in our lives and I look forward to watching your mother’s teaching unfold as soon as you make an honest woman out of that girl!
Kathy….LOL You are too much!!!! She did good with you Nephew.