Crime vs. Crime
Question: As Christians if…
• Somebody hits your car and runs, and the person responsible is discovered, is it alright to press charges?
• Somebody breaks in your home and steals your valuables and demolishes your property and the person responsible is discovered, is it ok to press charges?
• Someone steals your identity and runs up countless charges against you and the person responsible is discovered, is it alright to press charges?
• Your business partner, who has been your friend for years, steals from you and is caught, is it alright to press charges?
• Your boss, a pillar in the eyes of the community and many within the industry, sexually harasses you and is in clear violation of company policy and your personal respectability, is it alright to press charges?
• Your spouse cheats on you, betrays you, abuses you, disrespects you and violates the covenant between the two of you, is it alright to press charges?
I realize the first three are probably a given and without hesitation you are probably saying, certainly, press charges! The first three are dealing with natural things thus make how to handle them pretty black and white, but what about the other three? These begin to delve into another side of things. Who would ever criticize a person for standing up for their rights and calling for respect for themselves if they filed a charge for someone hitting their car and leaving the scene or someone breaking in their house and stealing all their jewelry or someone stealing your identity? Why is it if we call for the same respect for ourselves in the more personal issues, which damage the very core of our being, the shades become gray and not as clear?
In the last three one might say forgiveness comes into play. Well…. I could choose to just as easily forgive the identity thief as I could the boss who fondled me inappropriately, couldn’t I? Yet, if I turn in the indentify thief, nobody would ever question me, but if I turn in the boss that so many love, I will be forever known as the person that ruined his career! Why is that!!! And how on earth do so many violators of a person’s very being get off without being held accountable for THIER actions? Why does somebody’s crime against you become lost in translation and all eyes focus on you for defending your rights, your dignity, your honor and your self respect?
Here’s how a typical conversation would go: “have you seen Mr. Right lately? No girl, didn’t you hear, that new girl they hired in that office sent him to jail! Girl, she claimed sexual harassment but have you seen how she dresses?”
Lol. Mr. Right’s actions never come into play do they? He did it but (flip the script) someone else – the victim – now becomes responsible for his demise because she defended her rights, when in reality he did it all to himself.
Quiet as it’s kept, embezzlement, even between partners/friends, is a crime, sexual harassment is a crime, spousal infidelity is a crime, any type of abuse – verbal, mental, emotion, psychological, physical – is a crime yet, if we enact the same steps to vindicate ourselves in these situations, we are forever condemned for ruining that person’s life and we are looked upon worse (most times) than the actual offender. How can a boss sexual harass an employee and all people remember is that Ms. Jane Wrong ruined Mr. John Right’s career!
Here is my profound (simple) statement of the year:
Nobody has the power to make or break me, but me. You can call the police on me and say I stole money from you but if I didn’t, nothing will happen. But if I do steal money from you and you do call the police on me and I go to jail, the only person I can blame is me!
Talk back to me on this one. Tell me if my stolen identity deserves a higher level of respect and action than the stealing of the core of my being? Can I use the same tactics to retrieve my self respect of what was morally and physically stolen from me, that I can for the material items that have been stolen from me? Remember, in both instances, I can and will forgive, but in both instances can I lawfully retrieve what has been taken from me? In all six examples a crime has been committed…
Holla back!
What if you got sexually harassed and you felt all dirty and unclean inside because it kinda felt good at the time and you run and go to your pastor for counseling (’cause that’s the “christian” thang to do) and yo’ pastor’s tryin’ to get the skinny on what happened so he/she can run and tell his or her wife/husband and other folk?!?
Can YOU press charges on yo’ pastor for gossipin and runnin’ his/her mouth?!?
Inquiring minds wanna know…
That falls into the last three what ifs.
I believe that in all the cases you listed it is okay to press charges and I think all should at least be reported to the police. I would easily press charges on the first three, like you, Kathy, and think about each of the last ones. It would probably depend on the details of each case. Somebody’s life is being wrecked and someone should pay, but should you go to court or settle out of court. In the last 3, not pressing charges could allow the guilty party to continue to do the same crime to the next person they prey on. I’ve been in a workplace with sexual harrassment that was reported and handled within HR and the owners. The person accused did not lose their job but was harshly warned and made to speak to the company attorney about the consequences should anything else be reported and proven. He was an officer of the company, which is why he didn’t lose his job, in my opinion. In the case of spousal infidelity and abuse, if there aren’t any kids in the marriage, it’s a no brainer….Get Out! If there are kids, it becomes more difficult, depending on the ages of the kids. If the abuse was to me and the kids, which does happen to some, then press charges and get out right away. Christian or not.
As for 2 Secs comments – If my Pastor broke a serious confidence like that of mine with anyone other than their spouse, I personally, would probably leave that church. That’s broken trust and you’ve got to be confident that your Shepherd is watching out for your soul, not spreading yours and no doubt other folks business all around.
Well said!!!
Lord have mercy! It’s like night and day…I mean reading your articles online (your online persona and getting to know you in person). If I didn’t know you on a personal level, Hell, I would beleive that you were perfect in all manner of things! Wow.
There are so many things I do in my life that are imperfect. And I try to be clear, especially on the Christianity articles, I am not perfect and whatever I say applies to me as well as anybody who might read what I write. Sometimes when I do write them I feel like I am talking to just me! If this article makes you think I am perfect, I can’t help that. I simply wanted to know what people thought about injustices and disrespect against a person’s being/integrity vs. injustices against a person’s property/material objects.
@Carol M. – apparently, you don’t me at all… online or personally and time and time again I realize, I don’t know you.
@Carol M. – I don’t really understand something Carol. How would someone go about writing in personal flaws? What authors have you read where you could tell the problems they have in their life?
Your comment seems rather dubious to me.
Tom Sawyer’s last blog post..Domestic Violence Is On The Rise In Saudi Arabia
Tom,
I’m not sure I get your meaning, would you care to elaborate. My comments were meant for Kathy, saturations and circumstances that only she and I would understand. Perhaps her blog was the wrong arena to address them.
However, I would not just make blank statements, if I didn’t have some background information on the subject matter. Those comments were between Kathy and myself. As stated above, they were addressed in the wrong arena.
I’m not dubious, I biggest flaw is that I’m realistic…I think if you know better you should do better.
Tom,
You are correct, I don’t know you and you don’t know me. Which in my humble opinion is a good thing. You appear to be an egotist maniac that can’t see past your own self worth, which is why I stop comment on your blog.
I made a promise to Kathy this morning that I would not comment again on her blog; because, I tend to make comments that some unlike minds find offensives, which is not my intent. I speak my mind, that’s all, which some may perceive as dubious.
Sorry Kathy, I had to get that off my chest.
And on another note, Tom I don’t give a DAM if you think my comments were dibous…you need to check yourself.
Carol, I don’t care if you are real and speak your mind. I have told you on here and in person, I know everyone’s opinion is not the same, that is one of the purposes of a blog. I just take issue with anyone trying to attack others who are real and speak their minds also. I know Tom has broad shoulders and can take it but I am just curious as to why you found his comment so offensive and why you got so upset and went on the attack.
Because it was between you and I, as stated before. This blog was and is the wrong arena for this discussion. He never reply to anyting, why this. I just took this as ab opportunity to tell him how I feel about him.
He has and does replied to other things but ok.
Carol,
I hope you are calmer now and won’t have to resort to using bad language again. This blog has always been fun to me, reading what’s on others minds but with good taste in what’s being said and to have fun discussing issues. I hope that’s what it will continue to be.
I didn’t use any bad words. I see your family is like mines, you mess w/one you mess with them all.
Yall really don’t want to go there.
@Carol M. – Wow Carol. Your interpretation of things that are said is yours and yours alone. Everything seems to make you angry. If you need to be Billy Bad like that, have at it.