Happy Thoughtful Thursday to you! It’s a good day! I’m doing well and hope you are too! Yes, this is a long post today, but please read it all. Maybe it will help save a life!!!

Did you see Oprah Monday? I had seen previews and purposely set the DVR to tape it. It was about driving while talking on your cell phone and texting. Wow… It was a sad show. There was a wife and a daughter whose husband and father (two men traveling together) were killed due to a young man driving while texting. Surprisingly, the young man who caused the accident was on the show also. As it goes with life, he was not part of the accident he caused and he walked away without a scratch. He was sentenced to 30 days in jail, community service and a few other mild punishments. But he was remorseful and very sorry for his actions. Although the two women lost their loved ones, I almost felt sorrier for the young man whose life is forever changed for being the catalyst of taking two lives.

Rarely do I get mad at Oprah but I was getting irritated because every time she addressed the young man about the situation she would ask questions or make statements like: “how do you feel about killing two men”? Or “after you learned you killed two people…”. I’m sure it was not easy for him to come to the show and put himself out there like that (he teared up and shed a few tears) and then to have Oprah keep making statements saying he killed the men, well I just thought it was insensitive and unnecessary. With years of interviewing skills surely she could have opened her vocabulary to a more compassionate way to address the young man. As he said and I can imagine is true, he has to live with what he did for the rest of his life! It haunts him and he can’t make it go away! But that is not why I’m writing.

I just could not believe the horror stories and statistics I was hearing. Not only did they talk about texting, they talked about simply talking on your cell phone while driving. Here are the stats. Talking on your cell phone while driving, is equivalent to driving while drunk. Chances of getting in an accident are 4 times greater when driving while talking on your cell phone. The same as while driving drunk. Chances of getting in an accident while texting and driving are 8 times greater!!! What are you going to do?

Oprah came on the screen at the end of the show making a plea to us not to use our cell phones while driving. She asked for a commitment. I have made that commitment. What she said and it’s so true, we all think: “I can handle it! That won’t happen to me! I got this!” Well… the young man on the show responsible for the death of two men said the same thing! He thought he had the skill down pat! But when he looked up one day and had crossed over the line on the highway, thus causing a fatal accident, he knew different! And I am guilty! Although I am not a 20 year old, I still fall within the “texting frenzy” age of 18 – 49 and I am by no means a shabby texter! I can hang with the best of them!!! I’ve been known to crack the 1000 mark in one month! Uh huh… And if I do it while driving, and I have, I am wrong! Living and working on a military installation kind of keeps it all in control because driving and talking on a cell is not permitted and carries a fine of $75.00. And yes, I have been pulled over once for driving while talking on a cell and was blessed with only a warning. Done with that! Next!

I can’t remember all the stats they quoted on the show but I do remember them saying that 6,000 people have died due to cell phone related car accidents. That is 6,000 too many.

One more thing. I do have one question about all of this. Weren’t the first non-land line phones car phones? Weren’t we encouraged at one time to use mobile phones while driving? Now we aren’t! With law after law coming into effect, what use to be the newest and greatest recommended innovation is becoming a no no. Because here’s the thing, forget the devices that allow you to talk without actually holding the phone in your hand, that is not what they are talking about! They are saying, studies have shown that talking while driving period is a distraction and wrong! It doesn’t matter if you have an ear piece, Bluetooth, or the real fancy systems where you are connected through your car’s system, don’t do it! Talking in and of itself is distracting. I must concur. I use to ride with a coworker to different cities. He would be hands free on his phone and I would be pointing at the exit and he would just by pass it time and again. He wasn’t texting. He wasn’t holding his phone in his hand. He was simply talking on the phone and he was distracted. I did it myself the other day, drove right pass my exit because I was caught up in my conversation. And several years back, I was that one that had an accident due to talking on my phone. Being engrossed in my conversation, I gauged what block I was on incorrectly and an SUV hit me on the back end of the driver’s side of my car. I went to the hospital but was blessed with only a giant bump on my head. Had I not sped up when I saw him coming, I might not be here writing this to you and imploring you to change your lifestyle and habits, and NOT use your cell AT ALL while driving!

I love to talk on the cell phone on the highway when I am driving alone and I think straight highway driving is safer than city driving but I am going to try to stick with my commitment and not cell and drive! It could be a matter of life and death!

Holla back!

Welcome to Thoughtful Thursday. Today I have a mixture of five random questions, thoughts and concerns. You’ll see by my list, I’m all over the place but it is a good day! Despite my circumstances or the circumstances surrounding me, I’m employed, I’m healthy, my family is employed and healthy, I’m happy, blessed and highly favored of God! Here we go.

1. I am so sad about the catastrophe in Haiti. My husband, brother, sister-in-law and I stopped there during our cruise in 2007 and got to see a snippet of that country. To know that so many families are destroyed and devastated is heart wrenching! I pray help is there and more is on the way. I pray the hurt recover and the sick are healed.  I pray every need they have will be met!

2. Is it possible that Bill Clinton really said: “A few years back, this guy would be serving us coffee” about Barack Obama? Not the man that, until this election, was deemed the closest thing to a black President we would ever have! …and are President and Mrs. Obama really alright with Clinton and Reid’s comments or is the high road just for public view?

3. Why is 99% of the Facebook community called to preach on Facebook!!! Holla!!! FINALLY a platform for all the “wanna bes” TO BE!!! Er’body is soooo deep on Facebook!

4. Why do SOME of those called to preach on Facebook, preach one day and cuss and say awful things the next? I have seen pictures and words and exchanges from kids and adults that surprise/shock/astonish/alarm me!

5. A few weeks back I brought a book that I just started reading January 1. I arbitrarily ran into it and bought it without much thought but am so impressed I wanted to share it with you. Some may already know about it. It is called: 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue. What You Say (and Don’t Say) Will Improve Your Relationship. The author is Deborah Smith Pegues. Great book! It is a quick and easy read. You only read one, 2 – 3 page, chapter a day and it takes about 5 minutes. She writes beautifully and everything she writes is based on scripture! It is written to be read in 30 days. Apparently I am on day 14. So far I have read about:

• The Lying Tongue
• The Flattering Tongue
• The Manipulating Tongue
• The Hasty Tongue
• The Decisive Tongue
• The Argumentative Tongue
• The Boasting Tongue
• The Self-Deprecating Tongue
• The Slandering Tongue
• The Gossiping Tongue
• The Meddling Tongue
• The Betraying Tongue
• The Lying Tongue

Today is The Cynical Tongue and tomorrow is The Know-It-All-Tongue. Truly I have enjoyed reading this book! Truly I have been whipped and shamed by seeing myself when reading this book but I will continue to read it and see myself in some chapters because I am determined to be better and do better! I may have to go another 30 days and reread it all again, but I intend for it to get in my spirit and be a part of who I am! I don’t want my tongue to be my demise and the reason I don’t make heaven my home!

FYI: This author also has many other “30 days to…” books including:
30 Days to a Great Attitude
30 Days to Taming Your Finances
30 Days to Taming Your Stress and many others

If you don’t get any others, I recommend this one! And there is a workbook that goes along with it!

Be blessed and holla back! I want to hear your thoughts on my five random thoughts, concerns and questions!

Today I’m happy and I just wanted to share!  I hope you are well and succeeding at whatever you are attempting to accomplish.  I hope your dreams are becoming reality.  I hope everything is working out the way it is meant to work out. 

Here are the five things I think you should know.

-The first thing you should know: my three year old Grandson can recite The Pledge of Allegiance! Holla! …and he can count to 80. (of course he can!  by the time he was two he could say and identify EVERY letter of the alphabet!)  Grandmother loves it!

-The second thing you will know by the time you get to the first thing: once your children grow up, being responsible for a three year old, even for a few hours is challenging! Holla! I explained to my Grandson what “wearing Grandmother out” means!

-Here is a big thing you should know: I was in Indiana when Jim Caldwell, coach of the Indianapolis Colts, took out the stars of the team and demolished their winning streak. As a born and bred Hoosier, I was not happy! Tomorrow is not promised to ANY of us thus my theory is, play big or stay home! And do it, everyday of your life, for each and every occasion!!!

-I’m sure you all know this one: recovery from the Christmas holiday takes longer and longer every year! Getting back in the swing of things after Christmas is a baby step process!

-The most important thing you should know: the year 2010 holds no greater promises for me than 2009 did! My blessings nor my break-throughs nor my fortune is tied to any particular year! It is tied to me and my faith and my actions and my motivation! 11:59 pm on December 31, 2009 was just as important to me as 12:01 am on January 1, 2010! I don’t believe the hype and neither should you! How disappointing to wake up in 2010 believing a miracle is going to fall out of the sky simply because it is 2010 instead of 2009! I appreciate every sermon and message I’ve heard that tells me to turn the page and step into a new glory and has promised this is my year but the funny thing is… I’ve heard it all before! And I have had hard times at some point of every year and I have been blessed and received miracles at some point of every year! God and His promises and blessings are true yesterday, today, and forevermore! This year, last year and next year!

Those are the five things you should know!  I encourage you to share the things you think we should know and as always, leave your comments, thoughts and opinions!

Holla back!

Happy Thoughtful Thursday to you and Happy Holidays! I trust you are relaxing in the spirit of the season and embracing every good feeling this time of year exudes in the atmosphere! In all the excitement and shopping and gift giving and goodwill, I hope we always remember… Jesus is the reason for the season!

Today I have five random questions for you. Five things that are either perplexing to me or irritating to me or both! Anyway, I’m stumped. Maybe you can help! Come back and give me your feedback on these five random questions.

1. Why do people call you AT WORK and say, “What you doing”?
2. Why do I have to put on my turn signal to merge onto the highway when I have nowhere else to go but onto the highway?
3. Why do people who say they are Christians take “Christ” out of Christmas and substitute Him with an X?
4. Why do SEEMINGLY intelligent people send out emails/texts that say forward this message to 10 people and you’ll receive this or that (usually money) and if you don’t forward it and break the chain, you will go broke?
5. Why are the Jacksons doing a reality show?

Holla Back!

Thoughtful Thursday….

Although I don’t remember taking part in a lunchroom food fight growing up, I just can’t see it as a reason to: arrest 25 kids ranging in age 11 – 15, handcuff them, put them in a paddy wagon, take their mug shots, put them in jail, suspend them from school for 2 days and give them a misdemeanor on their record! Here’s The New York Times version of what happened at a middle-school in Chicago, IL last Thursday.

25 Chicago Students Arrested for a Middle-School Food Fight
CHICAGO — The food fight here started the way such bouts do in school lunchrooms most anywhere: an apple was tossed, a cookie turned into a torpedo, and an orange plunked someone in the head. Within minutes, dozens of middle-school students had joined in the ruckus, and spattered adults were ducking for cover.

By the end of the day, 25 of the students, ages 11 to 15, had been rounded up, arrested, taken from school and put in jail. A spokesman for the Chicago police said the charges were reckless conduct, a misdemeanor.

That was last Thursday afternoon. Now parents are questioning what seem to them like the criminalization of age-old adolescent pranks, and the lasting legal and psychological impact of the arrests.

“My children have to appear in court,” Erica Russell, the mother of two eighth-grade girls who spent eight hours in jail, said Tuesday. “They were handcuffed, slammed in a wagon, had their mug shots taken and treated like real criminals.”

“They’re all scared,” Ms. Russell said of the two dozen arrested students. “You never know how children will be impacted by that. I was all for some other kind of punishment, but not jail. Who hasn’t had a food fight?”

The students were released into the custody of their parents on Thursday night, the police said. They were also suspended for two days by the school, the Calumet middle-school campus of Perspectives Charter Schools, in the Gresham neighborhood on the South Side.

Diana Shulla-Cose, president and co-founder of Perspectives Charter Schools, said that an on-campus police officer had called for backup as the food fight escalated and that the resulting heavy police presence had led in turn to the large number of arrests.

Ms. Shulla-Cose described the entire episode as “unfortunate” and added, “We don’t take this lightly.”

She also said the school was working individually with the families of students who were arrested to support them through a difficult time, and through the process of getting the youths back to classes.

School officials met with parents on Tuesday to explain the events from their point of view. But some parents questioned what they saw as the random nature of the arrests.

“My daughter said someone threw an apple at her, so she retaliated,” Shirlanda Sivels said. “I said, ‘Why didn’t they grab you, too?’ She said, ‘I don’t know.’ She didn’t feel good about it, seeing her friends taken away.”

If the charges are not thrown out when the students go before a judge this month, criminal justice experts said, the accused will most likely be sentenced to community service or probation. Since they are juveniles, their records would remain confidential until adulthood — 17 under Illinois law — at which point the arrests would be expunged.

So here is my question, don’t we have more serious things to worry about than a middle-school lunchroom food fight? Maybe the goal was to psychological scare these children into being good citizens the rest of their lives. Maybe the goal was to eliminate future lunch room brawls with peas and carrots. Maybe the goal was to nip it in the bud before it turned into a “real” fight but whatever the reason, in the words of my spicy niece Kandace, “it ain’t that serious”!

What do you think? Holla back!

Hello and welcome to Thoughtful Thursday. It’s been a while! 

Are you going through anything today? Does it seem like as soon as one crises is over another one piggybacks it and there you are again? But maybe this is a good time for you and you are floating happily on God’s mercies! I hope so but if you are like me with little trials, medium sized tribulations and monumental troubles and you wonder when it will end or how you will make it through, first of all I recommend Jesus. He is the “be all, end all”! But as you go I have three songs I want you to get and listen to!

The first two songs are by my girl that I should have showcased weeks ago. The ever awesome Whitney Houston! She’s back and has two songs that are wonderfully inspiring and motivating. One is clearly talking about God and Him being the one to look to when nothing else works. That song is called: I Look To You. (Surprising written by our own, R. Kelley) The other is a kick in the butt we all need when we are having those “woe is me” valley experiences and it feels like we are all alone. You know when all you want to do is feel sorry for yourself. Listen to: I Didn’t Know My Own Strength! That will get you motivated to stand up straight and come to attention and know you are all that! And the third song is from Maurette Brown Clark and it is called: It Ain’t Over Until God Says It’s Over. I dare you to play this one over and over and over until it settles in your spirit and you truly know, it ain’t over until God says it’s over! My, my, my! It has ministered to my spirit too many times to count! It seems as if the DJ are locked into me and know exactly when to play it for me and straight to me! REGARDLESS of what you are going through – sickness, laid off of work, going through a divorce, children in jail, mind playing tricks on you, whatever – just know; the impossible is God’s chance to work a miracle!  It ain’t over until God says it’s over! Keep praying until your victory is won!

Here are the words to these three songs! Be blessed! Holla back!

I Look To You
As I lay me down
Heaven hear me now
After giving it my all
I’m lost without a cause

Winter’s storm has come
And darkened my sun
After all that I’ve been through
Who on earth can I turn to?

I look to you
I look to you
After all my strength is gone
In you I can be strong

I look to you
I look to you
And when melodies are gone
In you I hear a song, I look to you
About to lose my breath
There’s no more fighting left
Sinking to rise no more
Searching for that open door

And every road that I’ve taken
Led to my regret
And I don’t know if I’m going to make it
Nothing to do but lift my head
I look to you
I look to you
And when my strength is gone
In you I can be strong

I look to you
I look to you
And when melodies are gone
In you I hear a song, I look to you

My levees are broken, my walls have come
Crumbling down on me
The rain is falling, defeat is calling
I need you to set me free

Take me far away from the battle
I need you, shine on me

I look to you
I look to you
After all my strength is gone
In you I can be strong

I look to you
I look to you
And when melodies are gone
In you I hear a song, I look to you
I look to you
I look to you

I Didn’t Know My Own Strength
Lost touch with my soul
I had no where to turn, I had no where to go
Lost sight of my dream,
Thought it would be the end of me
I thought I’d never make it through
I had no hope to hold on to,
I thought I would break
I didn’t know my own strength

And I crashed down, and I tumbled, but I did not crumble
I got through all the pain
I didn’t know my own strength

Survived my darkest hour, my faith kept me alive
I picked myself back up, hold my head up high
I was not built to break
I didn’t know my own strength

Found hope in my heart,
I found the light to life, my way out the dark
Found all that I need, here inside of me
I thought I’d never find my way
I thought I’d never lift that weight
I thought I would break
I didn’t know my own strength

And I crashed down, and I tumbled, but I did not crumble
I got through all the pain
I didn’t know my own strength

Survived my darkest hour, my faith kept me alive
I picked myself back up, hold my head up high
I was not built to break
I didn’t know my own strength

There were so many times
I wondered how I’d get through the night
I thought I took all I could take
I didn’t know my own strength

And I crashed down, and I tumbled, but I did not crumble
I got through all the pain
I didn’t know my own strength

Survived my darkest hour, my faith kept me alive
I picked myself back up, hold my head up high
I was not built to break
I didn’t know my own strength

It Ain’t Over Until God Says It’s Over
I know the odds are stacked against you
And it seems there’s no way out
I know the issue seems unchangeable
And that there’s no reason to shout
But the impossible is God’s chance
To work a miracle, a miracle
So just know

It ain’t over until God says it’s over
It ain’t over until God says it’s done
It ain’t over until God says it’s over
Keep fighting until your victory is won

He never said it would be easy
But you’re a winner in the end
Jesus defeated all your enemies
Way before the fight began
But the impossible is God’s chance
To work a miracle, a miracle
So just know

When people say you can’t, remember
He can, He can
When you don’t know what to do
Please remember
He has the master plan
He will free you from your sin
And give you peace within
So hold your head up high
You’re gonna win
You’re gonna win

Keep fighting, keep praying, keep fasting
It ain’t over, no (repeat)
Keep fighting until your victory is won

Good Morning! It’s a good day for me! Today is my Friday as the military gives us the option to take the day before a holiday off as a “training holiday”. Of course I took it and don’t have return to work until Tuesday!

On this Thoughtful Thursday I don’t have anything heavy to talk about, just a few random hypothetical questions.

1#. Don’t you hate to see (typically) a woman walking outside around the track talking on her cell phone! I am a woman but that drives me nuts! Are they really there for the workout or is it just a show to say they were at the track?

2#. This is a two part question. Part #1. Should one person correct another person if they are mispronouncing a word? Which is more humiliating, having one person tell you subtly that you are pronouncing a word wrong or finding out you having been pronouncing it wrong and nobody told you thus lots and lots of people heard you and possibly made fun of you? Part #2. Why do people say conversate!!! Seriously, it might have been Ebonically cute at one point but how much harder is it to say converse? Converse actually has one less syllable than conversate and conversate is sooooooo not a word! And… (heavy sigh) (this ones goes to deep places in me I can’t even described) why do people say scary instead of scared!!! Awwwww….! Let me give you an example. “I don’t like haunted houses, I’m too scary.” OMG! Or “she won’t go with us, she is too scary.” Lord have mercy! The correct word is scared! Here is my question on both these words; do people think it is cute to say these mispronunciations? I will give you this; those words are at home and familiar with certain groups of people and I am going to leave that there but still… how intelligent is it to be in a suit and tie talking to educated people saying conversate? Is that cool or is that plain ignorant? And trust and believe, people hear you and take mental note of the fact that you can’t speak appropriately! They may never ever say anything, but they hear it! I heard, in passing, a hip hop song recently and it had the word conversate in it. Dragging your nails across a chalkboard would have had the same affect on me!

3#. Ok, this may be a whole other post but let me ask anyway. Why do (typically) men, when given the choice to turn the corner into the lane they will need to be in to turn within a block or so, choose to turn in the opposite lane and then have to strategically cross oncoming traffic to get into the necessary lane to turn? And this occurs over and over and over! Same actions, same outcome! And even more simply, while on the highway, why not move into the lane of your upcoming exit now, a mile ahead of time when there is no traffic, versus waiting until you are 500 feet from the exit with endless traffic and no way to get over, thus causing a bottleneck and potentially dangerous maneuvering event!

#4. Why do individuals at a place of business call another place of business, knowing it is a place of business and say, “someone just called me from this number and I am calling back to see who it was.” Seriously? And let me add one more thing to that, when you tell them many people use this “business” line and I can’t pinpoint who it was that called you they say, “ok. I will check my messages. I haven’t checked my messages yet.” I just sit there in awe of that whole experience and want to explain to them how this stupid it was!

Me personally, I CANNOT stand it when someone calls me and says, “someone just called me from this number.” I just want to sit there quietly on the phone and see what they will say next or how they will squirm out of what is really an awkward situation but to be honest, I don’t think it is awkward for them. Check this out, I know people who will pick a day, any day and go through their call ID and call every number that they don’t recognize! And there are repeat offenders! (and I’ll be honest, it is usually family, lol) When I get these calls, when responding I have to steady my voice and take out the aggravation I feel and cheerfully say for the 19th time, this is Kathy, what can I do for you! )

I try never to call back numbers I don’t recognize. If I do, there has to be a good reason! My theory is, if it was that important, they will leave a message and ask me to call them back.

#5. Why do people like me feel uncomfortable with only four questions and have to come up with one more question to even it out? I function best in groupings, even if only in my mind. So question #5 is, is do I have a form of OCD?

These are just some of the things that have been on my mind lately. Things that make me go hmmmm….. Maybe you can help me and give me some answers to my random questions on this Thoughtful Thursday! We’ll talk soon! Holla back!

Is freedom of speech alive and well or are we becoming a sensitive country always demanding an apology?

Serena Williams: “If I could, I’d take this ******* ball and shove it down your ******* throat.”

Joe Wilson: “You lie!”

Kanye West: “Taylor, I’m really happy for you. I’ll let you finish, but Beyonce had one of the best videos of all time! One of the best videos of all time!”

On this Thoughtful Thursday all I want to know is: if someone speaks out/shows off publicly, and it is directed at one specific person, should we the public expect an apology, or is the apology only due the person the violent/unkind words were directed at?

Should Joe Wilson have been expected to apologize to the nation or just President Obama? And he did and when Obama accepted his apology, should that have been the end of it? Should Serena Williams have only been expected to apologize to the line judge or were all tennis watching fans due an apology? (as I shake my head) Should Kanye West have only been expected to apologize to Taylor Swift or the MTV viewing audience at large?

While I think the most disrespectful of the three was Joe Wilson, I do slightly understand his knee jerk reactive words (although they probably were somewhat premeditated). I am not agreeing with Serena, but I do get her overwhelming surprise when a call of this nature, at this point in the match was called (rarely, if never, is this type of call made at this point of a match). But for the record, I have no understanding whatsoever for that stupid, idiotic, foolish, childish, overbearing, rude, over-the-top stunt Kanye West pulled! Ridiculous! Maybe after some of your comments, I will be more explicit about how I really feel about his shenanigans!

But what do you think? Should public figures be held to the standard we demand or should they be allowed to make human mistakes and rectify those public mistakes in their own way? And… do you think these public displays will have a permanent negative impact on their careers? Personally I think Serena and (unfortunately) Kanye will bounce back from this with little to no repercussions, Joe on the other hand…not so sure. What do you think?

Holla back!

Happy Thursday morning to you! I have a short simple question for you to ponder today for Thoughtful Thursday. Do people really mean it when they say, “if you need anything, day or night, just let me know”? How many times have we heard that? How many times has someone looked us dead in our face, with what appeared to be genuine sincerity, and said those words to us? But did they really mean it? Is there anyone on the face of this earth that will stop what they are doing and just give you a hand, especially if it interferes with what is going on in their day? I think the answer is no. I do think there are great people out there that will do literally anything for anyone but still, it comes with conditions.

I have an Aunt and Uncle that are the closest I know to actually altering their day/night for the needs of someone else. One time when my mother and father were out of town and I thought there was a mouse in my apartment, I called them at 4:00 in the morning and they came right over bearing mouse traps! My Uncle whistled while he laid those traps and my Aunt held her normal, happy go lucky conversation with me. They only accepted a thank you and went on about their night/morning as if they had done nothing great! But they had! They actually fulfilled the, “if you need anything, just let me know, day or night” to perfection. They are great people! But again I say; that is so rare.

A while back I needed some things. I had been promised help if I was ever in this situation. It came. I called upon the promiser and the promise ended up void. Lol. I moved on and I depended on myself and others, but it was hard not to be bitter, especially when I felt like I had always been there for them! Another point, have you ever said you were going to do X Y and Z and a person steps up real quickly and says I’ll do it, only because it will benefit their greater cause for you not to do it. But then when it is all said and done, they didn’t do it for you and the time has passed for you to do it for yourself, and in the end, it wasn’t done. They could care less and have gone about their life, but not getting it done, greatly and adversely impacted your situation.

I guess what I’m saying is, can and should we ever depend on another person or should we only rely and depend on ourselves? My answer is, I believe we all need each other. I believe if God wanted us to not help each other, he would have given us all our own personal island and equipped us with the power to fulfill all of our own needs, but He didn’t. So yes, we need each other but can we really, truly depend on each other? Will you really get up in the middle of the night for me if you are tired and sleepy and have to work tomorrow? Does being there for your neighbor only hold true if their needs fall on the weekend? Does being there for someone come with the condition of you having free time at the moment, so helping does not interfere with your day?

I had a friend that would claim to be there for me, however, whenever I needed that friend, I could only depend on help about 30% of the time. My needs always came behind what was happening in their day! But is that really true help when you need it? My mother used to say, “if you can’t help a fellow when they need it, it isn’t really help”. I agree.

What do you think? I’ve said a lot here, but the simple question is: Do people really mean it when they say: “if you need anything, day or night, just let me know”?

Holla back!

Being on a military installation and working in a military/government job, I see families day in and day out with one or both parents who are deployed. Typically, there is no way around that if the parents are in the military. According to a new study by military doctors and researchers, results found that stress levels were high for children and spouses of deployed troops but also support networks, from military to religious, helped mitigate the problems. But is it enough?

According to the below article, “children surveyed who have a parent deployed in a war zone are at “high risk” for psychological problems”. Wow. This is disheartening, don’t you think? Seriously, we should stand up and applaud any American brave enough to join the military and essentially, instantly put their life at risk, just by joining. And with that, we should strive to make sure they are granted the opportunity to live as normal a life as possible, including having children if they so desire. But is having deployable parents in the military a curse to those children?

Funny thing about deployment and the impact on the family, the article states: “it is the return from deployment that is most stressful, according to three-quarters of those surveyed”. Gosh, it is hard on a family to loose that parent to deployment and it is harder on the family when they return, especially the soldier. It is hard to come back and find your place and fit into a well oiled machine (or so we hope) that has been running for months without you! That’s tough but really and truly, shouldn’t the child and getting them through these formidable years, with circumstances they didn’t choose, be the primary concern?

Hear me when I say, this is just a question to think and something that will never be reality, but I am going to ask anyway and get your opinion: Should military men and women have children during their deployable years?

Read the article below and talk to us about your thoughts concerning the negative repercussions when a military parent deploys and the children are left behind.

http://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/09/02/military.kids.stress/index.html?iref=24hours

Holla back!