Happy Thursday morning to you! I have a short simple question for you to ponder today for Thoughtful Thursday. Do people really mean it when they say, “if you need anything, day or night, just let me know”? How many times have we heard that? How many times has someone looked us dead in our face, with what appeared to be genuine sincerity, and said those words to us? But did they really mean it? Is there anyone on the face of this earth that will stop what they are doing and just give you a hand, especially if it interferes with what is going on in their day? I think the answer is no. I do think there are great people out there that will do literally anything for anyone but still, it comes with conditions.

I have an Aunt and Uncle that are the closest I know to actually altering their day/night for the needs of someone else. One time when my mother and father were out of town and I thought there was a mouse in my apartment, I called them at 4:00 in the morning and they came right over bearing mouse traps! My Uncle whistled while he laid those traps and my Aunt held her normal, happy go lucky conversation with me. They only accepted a thank you and went on about their night/morning as if they had done nothing great! But they had! They actually fulfilled the, “if you need anything, just let me know, day or night” to perfection. They are great people! But again I say; that is so rare.

A while back I needed some things. I had been promised help if I was ever in this situation. It came. I called upon the promiser and the promise ended up void. Lol. I moved on and I depended on myself and others, but it was hard not to be bitter, especially when I felt like I had always been there for them! Another point, have you ever said you were going to do X Y and Z and a person steps up real quickly and says I’ll do it, only because it will benefit their greater cause for you not to do it. But then when it is all said and done, they didn’t do it for you and the time has passed for you to do it for yourself, and in the end, it wasn’t done. They could care less and have gone about their life, but not getting it done, greatly and adversely impacted your situation.

I guess what I’m saying is, can and should we ever depend on another person or should we only rely and depend on ourselves? My answer is, I believe we all need each other. I believe if God wanted us to not help each other, he would have given us all our own personal island and equipped us with the power to fulfill all of our own needs, but He didn’t. So yes, we need each other but can we really, truly depend on each other? Will you really get up in the middle of the night for me if you are tired and sleepy and have to work tomorrow? Does being there for your neighbor only hold true if their needs fall on the weekend? Does being there for someone come with the condition of you having free time at the moment, so helping does not interfere with your day?

I had a friend that would claim to be there for me, however, whenever I needed that friend, I could only depend on help about 30% of the time. My needs always came behind what was happening in their day! But is that really true help when you need it? My mother used to say, “if you can’t help a fellow when they need it, it isn’t really help”. I agree.

What do you think? I’ve said a lot here, but the simple question is: Do people really mean it when they say: “if you need anything, day or night, just let me know”?

Holla back!

Being on a military installation and working in a military/government job, I see families day in and day out with one or both parents who are deployed. Typically, there is no way around that if the parents are in the military. According to a new study by military doctors and researchers, results found that stress levels were high for children and spouses of deployed troops but also support networks, from military to religious, helped mitigate the problems. But is it enough?

According to the below article, “children surveyed who have a parent deployed in a war zone are at “high risk” for psychological problems”. Wow. This is disheartening, don’t you think? Seriously, we should stand up and applaud any American brave enough to join the military and essentially, instantly put their life at risk, just by joining. And with that, we should strive to make sure they are granted the opportunity to live as normal a life as possible, including having children if they so desire. But is having deployable parents in the military a curse to those children?

Funny thing about deployment and the impact on the family, the article states: “it is the return from deployment that is most stressful, according to three-quarters of those surveyed”. Gosh, it is hard on a family to loose that parent to deployment and it is harder on the family when they return, especially the soldier. It is hard to come back and find your place and fit into a well oiled machine (or so we hope) that has been running for months without you! That’s tough but really and truly, shouldn’t the child and getting them through these formidable years, with circumstances they didn’t choose, be the primary concern?

Hear me when I say, this is just a question to think and something that will never be reality, but I am going to ask anyway and get your opinion: Should military men and women have children during their deployable years?

Read the article below and talk to us about your thoughts concerning the negative repercussions when a military parent deploys and the children are left behind.

http://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/09/02/military.kids.stress/index.html?iref=24hours

Holla back!

Today for Thoughtful Thursday I gotta tell you, I love a good prank, but when does a prank go too far?

I absolutely love watching Punk’d and The Jamie Kennedy Experiment and I absolutely love listening to Nephew Tommy on the Steve Harvey Morning Show. But my heart goes out to the people being punk’d and pranked. When I am at work and one of my coworkers is teasing/playing a trick on/pranking another coworker, I find myself spilling the beans on them because I can’t stand the look on the other person’s face! They look so innocent and I know deep inside they are, in essence, being made to look stupid! Sometimes I am the victim, but it’s all good. It’s just a little joke and no harm is meant right?

This morning I was listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show as Nephew Tommy pranked a woman. He told her that her business, a cake shop, delivered a cake to his 13 year old daughter’s school donned with a part of the male anatomy. Now, it was funny but when it was over I felt sorry for the woman. She maintained her composure for quite a while during the conversation. She talked very professionally and didn’t say one cuss word until….he threatened to come to her shop, with the police, and shut down her 13 year business. All bets were off! She began the “every other word” cussing marathon and her professionalism went out the door! It was funny but…… And you know the first thing she said when he revealed himself to her and revealed her girlfriend had set up the prank (and this is why I felt sorry for her), “Oh no. Please tell me I am not on the radio, my preacher is going to be listening”. She is apparently a Christian and was instantly ashamed of herself and her behavior.

One day Nephew Tommy pranked a man that was audibly older. After getting him all worked up and pranked to the limit, Tommy revealed what was going on. The man said he had to sit down and couldn’t go to work right then because he had to get himself together. Awwww…. I felt sorry for him. It had a physical effect on him!

And Punk’d, one of my favorite shows, takes people to the brink! I have seen people’s cars (or so they thought) be demolished, people’s houses being emptied out, expensive pieces of artwork destroyed, integrities challenged, etc. I have seen people crying, panicking, looking bewildered, calling their mammas, loosing their minds, acting crazy, etc., all because Aston Kutcher decided they were the victim of the day! But what would happen if one of these people started hyperventilating or had a heart attack or worse?!

And even the ABC hit show, Primetime: What Would You Do? is a prank show of sorts. It may not be intended to make people laugh, actually quite the opposite, but still, they are setting up false scenarios and exploiting people’s reaction on national TV. Is that alright? Although unlike the humorous Punk’d or Nephew Tommy, some of the setups have brought people to the brink of publicly acting out in a way they wouldn’t normal act. I understand that in this case, with this show, many of these scenarios are intended to make society stop and think and be the one that speaks out for equality, (many of the cases are about racism and equability) but still.

So here are my two questions and one warning for Thoughful Thursday.

Question I: when does a prank go too far? Is it alright to take advantage of a person’s unawareness, drive them to behavior that is non-typical and do it publicly, many times nationally?

Question II: (this is basically a rhetorical question) shouldn’t we all be on guard with our behavior at all times, never knowing who is watching or listening? (My dear Lord is on post at all times on both counts!)

Warning: if you don’t know who you are talking to and what he is saying sounds crazy, ask him if he is Nephew Tommy from the Steve Harvey morning show!

Please talk to me on this one!

Holla Back!

Happy Thoughtful Thursday to you! Here is my question/thought for the day:

Are successful people really more talented and gifted than the next guy?  Or are they:

• Bigger risk takers and able to recover from failure better?
• More dedicated with endless perseverance?
• At the right place, at the right time, talking to the right people, about the right thing?
• More blessed and highly favored of God?
• Luckier? (btw: I don’t believe in luck but this one is for those of you who do)
• A harder worker with a clearer focus, a deeper drive and a more relentless determination to reach their goal?
• A nicer person that karma is rewarding?
• A more generous person?

(I know two of these sound the same but determination doesn’t always equate to dedication so…)

I know there are more scenarios I could add as to why one person succeeds and one doesn’t. Let me ask you this:
• Have you ever been at a family gathering and heard your cousin clear his throat and belt out a song in perfect tune, tone, rhythm and melody and wonder why he didn’t make it and Bo Bice did?
• Have you ever heard a man preach in an “out of the way”, tiny strip mall, store front in Montgomery, AL (to about 20 people) and you shake your head because his method, message and charisma are off the Richter scale and you wonder why he is there and not in the ranks of TD Jake and Joel Osteen?
• Have you ever seen a young man that can buy two cars by age 19 and maintain his life financially by buying and selling on Ebay and wonder why the Google idea didn’t come to him first or entrepreneur-ness hasn’t completely caught hold of him?
• Have you ever wondered how one person’s bachelor’s degree yields them a career at one level, and the same or lower degree yields another person a career where the sky is the limit?
• Better yet, how do you settle within yourself, someone making more money, without a degree and a “walk in off the street” job, than you are making with a degree and the student loans to go with it?
• Have you ever wondered how one person could raise their children without God in their life and those children grow up to be great contributors to society with wonderful careers; while other children have low aspirations, teeter between jail, prison, trouble, multiple babies mammas, more jobs than you can count, etc. but they grew up knowing God?

Why does life seem so unfair or should I say, why is life unfair? Why do so many never realize their dreams and achieve their goals? But even more importantly, why do so many never reach their full potential? Is it pure laziness? Is it misguidance? Is it ignorance? Is it a lack of intelligence? Is it not being in the right place at the right time? And I know, some people are satisfied and content with life “as is”. They just live. They wake up in the morning. Go to work. Come home. Pay bills. Eat dinner and they are happy. But what about the one that wants so much more but can’t catch a break? What about the one whose whole life has consisted of (forward) baby steps and some successes, but knows there is so much more to be had and sees others so far ahead of them?

I trust and believe; you reap what you sow, what goes around comes around, hard work pays off, etc. and I truly believe; all things work together for the good of those that love the Lord and are called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28. But when in life do you say, where do I go from here and what do I do to unlock MY greatest God promised success and potential?

Holla back.

(For those who haven’t read the comments below, you won’t understand this picture.  Please read the comments and you’ll understand!)

Today is Thoughtful Thursday and have I got a doozie for you to think about!  Listen to this.

My husband has a friend. He was talking to him and his friend said he and his wife went to the hospital to visit a friend who was in the hospital. It was a man. This man has 27 children. Twenty Seven! Of course, there are several babies’ mammas within that flock. Check this out, at the time the friend was visiting this man, FOUR of the babies’ mammas were visiting him also! What in the world!!! And… four of his sons are a junior! He has four sons, from four different mothers, that are named after him! ROTFL! (roll on the floor laughing) But is it really a laughing matter! This is not a National Enquirer half true, half false story, nor is it a fabrication someone made up, this is for real! All jokes aside, this man dropped his love seed most everywhere he went, or so it seems!

As with Octomom I ask the same question, how can one person do it? From everything I gathered, he is not a millionaire. He is not even rich! How does one person financially, mentally, emotionally, physically and lovingly support that many kids? I have no idea of the make up, e.g., how many kids are in each family, however, I do know this is ridiculous! If I was him or any of the mothers or any of the children, I would be so embarrassed! The kids have the least reason to be embarrassed but honestly, they will probably be the ones most embarrassed and most affected by this reprehensible sexual behavior!

Today’s question on Thoughtful Thursday: how much is enough, how much is too much and when does too much stink! At some point (maybe kid 10 or 15) should the government have stepped in and said enough is enough? I imagine that task is probably easier to do with overly fruitful moms than dads. I wonder how many of these birth certificates reflect this man as the father.

All I can do is shake my head….

Holla back!

I am going to do a spin off from my brother and sister-in-law’s blog/site. They have what they call Wordplay Wednesday, check it out at 7daybuzz.com. I am going to designate Thursday, or at least this Thursday, as a thought day and call this, Thoughtful Thursday. Here is my thought and I want you to come back and tell me what you think.

With all the talk about racial profiling and race issues, etc., how do you deal with being black in an environment where you see the “race card” used all the time! I work and live in a place where the percentage of minorities is extremely high, especially blacks. Recently I went on a trip with my boss. Unbeknownst to me until that trip, she is 1/2 white and 1/2 Japanese. I am not sure the people who work closely with her know that. I didn’t. It puts a different perspective on things. She then went from a white woman to a woman of color. If Obama – a half white and half black man – can be considered just black, surely I can think of my 1/2 Japanese boss as a woman of color. I had a beautiful time with her. She was lovely. But just this week, I hear whispers and backbiting and grumblings about her being prejudice. (heavy sigh…)

For me to use the race card, it really, really has to slap me in the face and be clear to call! I get so tired of hearing people say, she did that because I am black or you know if that was a white person, she wouldn’t have done that. I have repeatedly told people, “I like her and I don’t agree. I don’t believe that about her and she treats me good!” Maybe, just maybe if you were doing your work the way you were supposed to be doing your work, that wouldn’t have happened. Simple as that! And this particular boss isn’t the only one they say that about. It is a widespread phenomenon here at my place of employment and never ending! And there are so many blacks!!!

My question is:

• What will it take for little boys and girls to grow into big people who own their actions and cease from pulling out the race card?
• When will the card expire?
• Why are they still being distributed?
• Who is endorsing its continued used?
• Where does the card no longer have power?
• How long will it work?

I truly hope we as blacks can get over it and when situations arise, not go to racism as the first option and look at all the facts and possibilities before resorting to the race card.

How has my boss worked in the government system for 22 years, be one of the highest directors in the organization, maintained her promote ability status, do it all in an environment of about 65% blacks and honestly be prejudice?

Guess what, I’ve turned in my “race card”  for a mirror! It was a very eye opening and refreshing experience! Now, I own me and all my thoughts, deeds and actions. I encourage others to do the same!

Holla Back with your Thursday Thought.