I have to start off by saying, in the short history of kleverkathy.com, this is the most gut wrenching post I’ve written. As I thought of what to call this post to grab your attention and make you read this story, my first thought was to simply call it “A Praying Spirit Throughout The Day Part II”. I realized that was too soft and subtle. That didn’t correctly convey the direness of this situation. I needed something to get you to understand the urgency of you all touching and agreeing with me in prayer. I need you to pray! I need you to once again pray for my co-worker Carol. Remember Carol and her overwhelming family tragedies? For those who don’t know and for those who need reminding, let me rewind and briefly recap.

Carol lost her father a few days before Thanksgiving. She went home to Guam to bury him and her mother fell ill. She recovered enough for Carol to come home but a few weeks later took a turn and died right after the New Year. She went home to bury her mother and while there her Aunt fell ill and died. Two weeks ago Carol went home for her brother’s wedding. A day or two after the wedding, they were fishing. Carol’s other brother’s line got caught in some rocks. He went in to untangled it, the waters became too much, his lungs filled with water and he drowned. Lord! What More!!! Dad, Mom, Aunt and now brother.

Fastforward… Carol is still in Guam following her brother death and funeral. She had planed to return in a couple of days. Yesterday her sister fell ill, went to the doctor, was told she had an infection in her lungs, was hospitalized and died this morning. (long pause and heavy sigh…)

What? What? What? I myself am so sad and distraught; I can’t imagine Carol and her family’s unbelievable grief. How in the world do so many families escape family deaths and then others are bludgeoned with the despair of death over and over and over? I know God and I love God and I believe God and have served Him all my life. I think questioning God is a gray area and definitely shouldn’t be a common practice, however, today I find myself entering those gray murky waters as I ask: why God and how much more?

Carol is financially and emotionally spent. All we can do is help her financially, supply a shoulder to cry on, pray for her and know God is the only one that can carry her through this ongoing storm.

I have nothing else to say. Just pray for her. Holla back…

Today I’m asking God for a praying spirit throughout the day.  I should everyday but especially today…

Rarely will you see me post prayer lists on kleverkathy.com. Not because I don’t believe in the power of prayer, I do! I have witnessed results from the power over and over again, firsthand! I don’t post them just because I think prayer is usually personal to the person praying, and although I see a name on a prayer list, because I don’t know them, it doesn’t stick with me to be diligent throughout their deliverance. But I do pray and I will pray, even for those I don’t know. However… today I am posting this request for one person specifically, my coworker Carol Castro.

Carol is from Guam. Her father became ill some time before Thanksgiving. He asked her to come and visit him. She tried to coordinate her visit with Thanksgiving. She already had schedule time off for Thanksgiving. She would be spending extra time in Guam to visit with her ill father. She planned to leave on Thanksgiving Day. He died a couple of days before. She went home and buried her father. While she was there, her mother became ill. She got better and Carol came back with hopes her mother would fully recover. Her mother passed right after the New Year. She went home to bury her mother. While she was there, her Aunt died. She stayed a little longer for her funeral. Carol and I talked about deaths in threes and basically touched and agreed that this was it for her and her family. They had suffered enough!

Carol is in Guam now. She went home to Guam last week for her brother’s wedding. Carol was due back today. We got word this morning her brother (we don’t know if it is the one that was getting married) was fishing and his line got caught in the rocks and he went in the water to unhook/fix it and somehow he drown! Oh Lord! What more?!

As I thought about this today and began thinking on the goodness of Jesus (still yet!) and thought on the saying (since it isn’t really a scripture per se), God won’t put more on us than we can bear, I realized, sometimes He does. But I believe He does it just so we will let Him bear it and make us rely totally and completely on Him! Unfortunately, at times, we go to God as a last resort instead of first choice! God should always be plan A! Actually, plan A, B, C all the way down to ZZ! So often He isn’t. Anyway…. I’ve digressed.

Bottom line, regardless, He is Good!

My heart and thoughts and prayers go out to Carol! She is a believer and I know she knows how good God is in the midst of this storm, her previous storms, and her future storms! But it is hard. Losing family member after family member takes a toll and is a lot to handle. Please keep Carol Castro and her family in your prayers!

The floor is open for any other prayer requests you have that you may want to share with us. Please feel free at any time to express those at kleverkathy.com, but especially today, share those with us as we ask God for that continuing praying spirit throughout the day. Holla back!

They used to say it takes a village to raise a child. As with so many things that have disintegrated, so has the village. The villagers moved to the “burbs” and they want to be the only ones with the daunting task of raising Johnny! I personally think it is a team effort! Yes, the parents have the final say. but it’s very refreshing to have help in so many aspects of raising that little one. When we grew up anybody in the church could get on you. I remember my friend and I were cutting up while the preacher was delivering the sermon and he called us out!!! Uh… needless to say, I got in trouble when I got home too! And don’t let a teacher get on you at school and then let the parents know. Ooooo wee! It was on! There was no hot headed mamas and daddies rolling up in school going postal on the administration. No sir! (there was always an exception, even way back then) If those kids had to be at school six hours a day, under the tutoring of that person, and in essence being raised about ½ of the day, five days a week by that person, wouldn’t it make sense for that person to have some leeway with the care and discipline of the child? Use to be. Not today!

It is hard raising a child. Other than marriage ) I think it is the hardest job in the world!!! To me, today’s parents (generalization) are the laziest, most lackadaisical, lenient, wanting to get rid of their kids, parents I have ever seen! Children are so misbehaved these days. They will cuss at you, disregard you when you tell them something, threaten you with their mama or daddy, some may even pull a weapon on you! I’m just saying!

There are a lot of new age methods for raising children that tout a new and better way to make Johnny come out better than the last batch! Statistically, children are worse today than ever! And it all starts young. This is family week, but check out the two scenarios below and tell me what would you do.

Scenario #1: You just bought new furniture and it is but a few weeks old. You still enjoy the fresh leather smell every time you walk in your house. You have gotten compliment after compliment on your exquisite taste in picking this combination. You are pleased with your decision and plan to enjoy your furniture for years to come. One day your friend comes over and their child is, instead of sitting down in your new leather chair, jumping to sit in your chair! Repeatedly! You and the mother are standing right there! Your adrenaline is forcing your heart to double the beats per minute as you watch your expensive furniture disrespected. But not only are you watching, the mother is watching too! And the child; the child keeps eyeing you and essentially saying, nah nah nah nah nah. You can’t say anything to me or my mother will go off on you! Help somebody!!!

Scenario #2: You’re at the grocery store standing in line. A mom and little one are standing behind you. The little tyke keeps running their kiddy cart into the heel of your foot…and it hurts! The mother is on the cell phone paying absolutely no attention to this state of affairs. The first time you kind of turn around and look at the child and then up at the mother, smile and step up a little, hopefully out of the range of the tykester. You do this two more times but it is apparent, little Johnny/Johnita is making a sport of running into your foot! The mother is oblivious to this baby crime spree. Should you interrupt the mother’s call and ask her for a band-aid!!!

In each scenario the parent is not doing their job! If you know me, you know I have said so many times, the two easiest things to train are pets and children. That is why God gives them to us at birth! But society today is made up of parents, especially the parents of the “I hate to see that kid coming” little kids, that don’t want to train their child yet don’t want you to say anything to their little china doll!

So in each of these situations, what do you do? Would you say something to the parent? Would you say something to the child? Would you just say nothing and take action and lift the child out of your chair and make them stand the rest of the visit? Would you take your items and get in another check out line? Would you beat the snot out of the child or better yet, the parent? Just kidding!!! (although I am convinced, there are not really bad kids, but bad parents) Seriously, what would you do? Let us know and share your experiences with the village and without the village. Holla back!

My cousin sent out an email last week while her boys were away on spring break. She was sharing the empty nest anxieties she was feeling.  I thought it was cute. One week and she was feeling it. I will be commenting and sharing the other end of it where you take your child to the first day of college and you walk away and leave your baby alone, in their own place, whether it be dorm or apartment, and tears are streaming down your face and your body is shaking and your head is hurting and your breath becomes short and you don’t know if they will make it without you.  But any of us who have been through it realize, the real question is, you don’t know if you will make it without them! Whew!  Anyway, Monique’s story is precious. Here it is.

Have you ever had your own story about empty nest syndrome? My kids are at my mother’s for spring break this week. We left them Saturday and we’re already feeling the pangs of separation anxiety. We try to only call and talk with them once a day to avoid the “When are you coming to get us” questions and feelings of guilt. We usually start out thinking it’s going to be so nice to have a week to ourselves, but we always get the blues after a couple of days. As much as we talk about wanting a break to be by ourselves, once we get it, we realize that life just isn’t the same without them.

We always end up getting them something nice like a new DVD they’ve wanted or a game for their gaming system as a welcome home present. They’ve gotten to the place where they start looking for it when they get home. I think this time I’ll forgo the gift and say the reward is being back home with your mother and father.

My parents are wonderful grandparents and I’m extremely grateful that they’re both still around to have such an active part and influence in their lives. I know my parents enjoy having them when they can. I also know that they, like countless other grandparents, enjoy the fact that they can send them back when it’s time.

My husband and I never talk openly about it to each other, possibly so we can avoid the inevitable breakdown to tears that would come. Or is it to avoid dealing with the fact that we’ve lost so much of ourselves as a couple due to how much of our lives revolves around our kids? We love them and spoil them too, to an extent. But is this the way it’s really supposed to be?

Holla back!

This is our first “series” week. Let’s start out with something close to home, Family. This is Family week. Let’s talk.

The first thing that comes to my mind when I say family is my mother. As many of you know, she is gone. 10 years, 7 months and 22 days. (sigh) It still hurts and I can still give you detail by detail and blow by blow of the events surrounding her passing and how everything unfolded. Well… as I sit here and think, I guess some of it has faded away but it is still pretty fresh in my mind. Just the other day I told my girlfriend, if my mother was here, blah blah blah. I can concretely say, you never stop wanting or needing your mom!

Are you like me, when you think of family is your mother usually the first thing that comes to your mind? Don’t get me wrong, I take nothing away from fathers, or brother, or sisters, or kids or Aunts and Uncles. We all have our place within the structure, but for some reason (actually I know it is God’s plan) the mother/matriarch is the one who, at least emotionally, bring the family together and hold them together.

As we start this week long discussion about family, let me say how sorry I am that the original “family unit” that God intended has taken on a whole new look! I am not saying that completely negatively, because good can still triumph in the abnormal or diverse family makeup. I just say it because in some cases, it is sad to see the consequences and repercussions that arise from veering from God’s plan within the family unit. To clarify, when I say the family unit that God intended, I am speaking about: a man and woman meeting, getting married, having children together, just the two of them (and not with anybody other than that one spouse) and staying married until one of them dies. Rarely, is life that simple anymore. We deal with baby mamma drama, combined families, stepmothers, stepfathers and step brothers and sisters. But at the end of the day, it is all still family!

But it all starts with mom. As mother’s day swiftly approaches, it is a time when I am always reflective on my mother and myself as a mother. I strive to do my best but don’t we all question if our best is good enough? You never know if what you are doing is: helping or hurting, teaching or creating resentments, overprotecting or underprotecting, being too hard or being too lenient, displaying a good role model or being an embarrassment, giving too much or giving too little. You just never know. All any of us can ever do is our best!

I don’t know about other mothers but I absolutely love/d being a mom; the good, bad and ugly! I remember sitting and picking at Kourtney for hours; just holding her when she was sleep or awake, staring at her, combing her hair relentlessly and matching rubber band and hair bows to her clothes. If she got dirty I changed her clothes. If the rubber bands and hair bows didn’t match the new outfit, I redid her hair! Wow. (Kourtney if you read this, I’m sorry about that!) And poor Kendall. I was so happy to have a little boy! He got treated like a girl although I prayed for an all masculine little fella. One thing I look back on and say, oh that was no big deal was my determination to have him represent when he went to church and not wear tennis shoes! He always had on dress shoes and only twice in those pre adult years did he wear tennis shoes to church. One time was when his dress shoes were too little and I hadn’t made it to Neff and Nusbaum/Esmonds by Sunday. The other time was when we went to visit my aunt in Columbus and forgot them. Yikes! But he didn’t die and he was no worse for the wear. If I had it to do over, I still prefer the dress shoes but guess what? I have taken my grandson to church in tennis shoes! He gets the break Kendall didn’t! lol.

Now about my mother, let me just say, she was all that! Martha Ann Sawyer had the “it factor” and made an impact wherever she went. Still today people that knew her tear up when they talk to me about her. That’s saying a lot 10 years, 7 months and 22 days later. Really and truly, I can’t find another woman in the world like her! Her style and class are undeniable by anyone that knew her. She was the epitome of a classic and classy “First Lady”. I’ve seen many try to emulate her graceful style, but no one comes close! Her First Lady status remains intact! She didn’t overdo it (as so many do) yet she wasn’t understated either. She donned the perfect church hat and the perfect church suit/dress. I’ve tried and I can’t even match her timeless elegance. She owned it and she was my mom. Hmmmm….let me move on.

Tell me about you mother and your own experiences as a mother. Fathers please jump in too! Your day comes very shortly after ours and we want to honor you and your contribution to the family as well. We couldn’t do it without you!

As we begin Family Week, holla back!