Carol lost her father a few days before Thanksgiving. She went home to Guam to bury him and her mother fell ill. She recovered enough for Carol to come home but a few weeks later took a turn and died right after the New Year. She went home to bury her mother and while there her Aunt fell ill and died. Two weeks ago Carol went home for her brother’s wedding. A day or two after the wedding, they were fishing. Carol’s other brother’s line got caught in some rocks. He went in to untangled it, the waters became too much, his lungs filled with water and he drowned. Lord! What More!!! Dad, Mom, Aunt and now brother.

Fastforward… Carol is still in Guam following her brother death and funeral. She had planed to return in a couple of days. Yesterday her sister fell ill, went to the doctor, was told she had an infection in her lungs, was hospitalized and died this morning. (long pause and heavy sigh…)

What? What? What? I myself am so sad and distraught; I can’t imagine Carol and her family’s unbelievable grief. How in the world do so many families escape family deaths and then others are bludgeoned with the despair of death over and over and over? I know God and I love God and I believe God and have served Him all my life. I think questioning God is a gray area and definitely shouldn’t be a common practice, however, today I find myself entering those gray murky waters as I ask: why God and how much more?

Carol is financially and emotionally spent. All we can do is help her financially, supply a shoulder to cry on, pray for her and know God is the only one that can carry her through this ongoing storm.

I have nothing else to say. Just pray for her. Holla back…

The first thing that comes to my mind when I say family is my mother. As many of you know, she is gone. 10 years, 7 months and 22 days. (sigh) It still hurts and I can still give you detail by detail and blow by blow of the events surrounding her passing and how everything unfolded. Well… as I sit here and think, I guess some of it has faded away but it is still pretty fresh in my mind. Just the other day I told my girlfriend, if my mother was here, blah blah blah. I can concretely say, you never stop wanting or needing your mom!

Are you like me, when you think of family is your mother usually the first thing that comes to your mind? Don’t get me wrong, I take nothing away from fathers, or brother, or sisters, or kids or Aunts and Uncles. We all have our place within the structure, but for some reason (actually I know it is God’s plan) the mother/matriarch is the one who, at least emotionally, bring the family together and hold them together.

As we start this week long discussion about family, let me say how sorry I am that the original “family unit” that God intended has taken on a whole new look! I am not saying that completely negatively, because good can still triumph in the abnormal or diverse family makeup. I just say it because in some cases, it is sad to see the consequences and repercussions that arise from veering from God’s plan within the family unit. To clarify, when I say the family unit that God intended, I am speaking about: a man and woman meeting, getting married, having children together, just the two of them (and not with anybody other than that one spouse) and staying married until one of them dies. Rarely, is life that simple anymore. We deal with baby mamma drama, combined families, stepmothers, stepfathers and step brothers and sisters. But at the end of the day, it is all still family!

But it all starts with mom. As mother’s day swiftly approaches, it is a time when I am always reflective on my mother and myself as a mother. I strive to do my best but don’t we all question if our best is good enough? You never know if what you are doing is: helping or hurting, teaching or creating resentments, overprotecting or underprotecting, being too hard or being too lenient, displaying a good role model or being an embarrassment, giving too much or giving too little. You just never know. All any of us can ever do is our best!

I don’t know about other mothers but I absolutely love/d being a mom; the good, bad and ugly! I remember sitting and picking at Kourtney for hours; just holding her when she was sleep or awake, staring at her, combing her hair relentlessly and matching rubber band and hair bows to her clothes. If she got dirty I changed her clothes. If the rubber bands and hair bows didn’t match the new outfit, I redid her hair! Wow. (Kourtney if you read this, I’m sorry about that!) And poor Kendall. I was so happy to have a little boy! He got treated like a girl although I prayed for an all masculine little fella. One thing I look back on and say, oh that was no big deal was my determination to have him represent when he went to church and not wear tennis shoes! He always had on dress shoes and only twice in those pre adult years did he wear tennis shoes to church. One time was when his dress shoes were too little and I hadn’t made it to Neff and Nusbaum/Esmonds by Sunday. The other time was when we went to visit my aunt in Columbus and forgot them. Yikes! But he didn’t die and he was no worse for the wear. If I had it to do over, I still prefer the dress shoes but guess what? I have taken my grandson to church in tennis shoes! He gets the break Kendall didn’t! lol.

Now about my mother, let me just say, she was all that! Martha Ann Sawyer had the “it factor” and made an impact wherever she went. Still today people that knew her tear up when they talk to me about her. That’s saying a lot 10 years, 7 months and 22 days later. Really and truly, I can’t find another woman in the world like her! Her style and class are undeniable by anyone that knew her. She was the epitome of a classic and classy “First Lady”. I’ve seen many try to emulate her graceful style, but no one comes close! Her First Lady status remains intact! She didn’t overdo it (as so many do) yet she wasn’t understated either. She donned the perfect church hat and the perfect church suit/dress. I’ve tried and I can’t even match her timeless elegance. She owned it and she was my mom. Hmmmm….let me move on.

Tell me about you mother and your own experiences as a mother. Fathers please jump in too! Your day comes very shortly after ours and we want to honor you and your contribution to the family as well. We couldn’t do it without you!

As we begin Family Week, holla back!